To Her

Sorry, I wanna sing A Song For You. Now listen, when i saw you on that day, you made my Life Like A Musical. I said it to myself that It's U, my Moonlight Angel. You'll Be In My Heart and make me keep Missing You every day and night. I Believed Myself is in Heaven although i'm Love Sick. So I wrote you a Love Letter but you hope to stay still with this Friendship. It's like a Thunder strike pierce through my heart, suddenly i felt it's like raining all night long, even the Stars cant be seen. I Hope you can Always Be Mine but there's Only One Person you love. Age is Troublemaker. If I given a chance to back to the time when i first met you, I'll tell you a beautiful Lie that I'm 20 but not 19. But now I'm The Person Who Is Closer To Tears. I wanna ask the Lord is it fated of the Meeting of You And I. I don't know What Can I Do now, to wait Until You Come Back? I just want you to Be Happy. You're not a Bad Woman but you're The One who let me understand Love Is blind. Sarang handa. The chapter ends here. Good bye.

08/08/2009

-|† Enough. It's enough. I'm too tired for that. It's the last post for me to write the blog again. It's meaningless for me to keep writing and writing. I can't even express my feelings through writing, so then I'll just hide and keep it in myself. If happiness is a choice, then so is loneliness. Peoples said that time can heal all wound but that is a LIE. It just put a patch on it. I'm a hypocrite. I tell people to accept who they are, even I HATE myself. I lie always. To make people feel sympathy for me and to pay attention to me. I'm always struggle in a big time, but nobody knows. Sometimes I wonder, if I were to disappear to night, would anybody really notice? I just don't know what to believe in anymore. I'll just let the world pass by, because it's not a nice place anymore. It's scary now. Sometimes I sit in the darkness and think, It's like I'm sitting inside my soul. In the dark cavern of my mind, I sleep away the time spent, hoping and dreaming for my beautiful princess. Instead, loneliness comes to call, knocking on my door, asking to play, knowing that I will answer. Which I do. Every time. My heart is bleeding and crying for pain of the loneliness from day to night. I hope my conscience as dark as coffee. =) In every illusion lies reality, in every reality lies illusion. In every lie there is truth, in every truth there is lie. Illusion or reality? Truth or lie? From now on, whenever I express a feeling, I'm just forced to do so. Human is pathetic. †|-

† 都这么长的时间了，就好像在证明我是不可以的。†

07/08/2009

-|† Is it fated or destined to let me saw u today? Cause I'd attracted by the sweet cute face of yours when you're smiling to your friends. I try not to look at you but obviously, I fail. Your wistful face, soft and sweet and gentle and so very fragile. Seeing it, I can't describe what I'm seeing. It's too beautiful for words. You're smiling so peacefully. Since that time, I know that I'd fall for you. A smile of yours captured my heart but you will never know. Then, I wish quietly, quietly. Your pretty face, smiles in the mist. I see that face and I wish for the impossible. To think that I can touch the soft face that smiles in the mist. I just can't stop thinking the sweet face of yours when you smile. All I can do is just wait faithfully, wait patiently. Wait until one day you can notice the existence of mine. But how long it's gonna take. Another one year I think? I'm not that rich to provide u gifts always or smart like a academic person or tall like some other guys but this is me I cant change the fact and I like you. Sigh. †|-

-|† Every time I move forward, "Hope" seems to be moving further and further. †|-

13/07/2009

-|† Time is ticking, World is Spinning, Human is evolving. Everything seems to be changing but nothing changed after all. A is still A and B is still B. Actions of theirs resemble what kind of person they are. Everyone needs two mirrors for themselves. One is use to reflect the image of them. Second is use to reflect the bad and good of their own. There is no such thing as right and wrong, is just depends on how we think about it. We as human should not expect the others to use our way to live their life. So, do not expect each and every person will do as we want. GOD make all of us different between each and other for a purpose. We have no right to control any other one of us. Patience and humble should be sine qua non for every single human. Sigh, I'm drastically shortage in love of opposite sex. †| -

-|† Even Heaven is Hell, Without You. †|-

10/07/2009

-|† Thinking of you, whenever you are. I pray for our sorrows to end, and our hearts to blend. Now, I will step forward to realize this wish. Starting a new journey may not be so hard, perhaps it has already begun. There are many different worlds but they share the same sky. One sky one destiny. †| -

† I can't sleep at night because my pillow is wet with tears. †

07/07/2009

-| † Although your heart is mine but it's hollow inside. I never had your love and I never will. Every night, I lie awake. Thinking maybe you love me, like I've always loved you. But you never will. Even though you're just beside me but yet feeling so alone, I always hoped you'll be the one to wipe away my tears, the one to say that you would never leave. The waters are calm and still, my reflection is there. I see you holding me but then you disappeared. All that is left of you is a memory that only exist in my dreams. I don't know what hurts you but I can feel it too and it just hurts so much. To know that I can't do a thing and deep down in my heart. Somehow I just know that no matter what, I'll always love you. † |-

† Bore pain with great fortitude †

06/07/2009

-| † A memorable day.. The first time I wore formal suit to campus for the public speaking presentation and hope something unusual to happen. Indeed some unusual things had happened and that is embarrassing in front of peoples. >.< I'd tried to exculpate myself from the blame of embarrassed. But I'm the one who make myself struggle within the embarrassment because of not being well prepared. Sigh.. Due to the problem of nervous, I'd had restart my speech for four times as the tutor asked me to do so. In the five minutes time, people's eyes staring at me and make my mind have only a piece of blank paper but nothing else more. Low-self esteem and inferiority complex, When only I can overcome these problems. I'm embittered by the repeated failures. T_T Somehow.. Rather.. Maybe.. No matter how hard I'd tried, the girls will just always ignore me. Existence of mine that can't be deny but Present of mine that can't be seen. † |-

† Existence that can't be deny and Presence that can't be seen †